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If You Are Going To Say No To A Request, Here Is The Best Way.


Working on a book has meant I have needed to regularly remind myself of this. And I’m not going to lie, putting it in the context of pizza always makes me smile while also making it an easier reality to accept.

If you often find yourself overcommitted, here are three rules I hold myself accountable to when I need to say no to something:

Be Quick.

Be Kind.

Be Clear.

Be quick to respond when your answer is no and allow the other person time to explore alternative options. It also challenges you to be more thoughtful and decisive. When we worry that we’ll disappoint people, we often procrastinate on making the decision AND delivering the response.

Be clear in your response. Another way we avoid disappointing people is by convoluting the response with a non-committal answer. Be clear in what you can and can’t do and then ensure you follow through. “Maybe later” and “let me see what I can do” response types are unclear and unfair to the person making the request. People are often most disappointed and angry when surprised, so take a no surprise policy.

Be kind in delivering your answer. It may not be your priority, but it is someone’s, so respond with graciousness and never underestimate the power of “thank you.”

The reality is that even after doing all three of these people may be disappointed, but chances are much higher that they’ll respect you and feel respected by you.

Demonstrating respect is the highest form of kindness.

Besides, treating others with respect (including yourself), has a much longer and lasting impact than simply trying to make everyone happy.

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